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August 25, 2010

Book Review: To Raise Happy Kids, Put your Marriage First

Book Title: To Raise Happy Kids, Put your Marriage First
Author: David Code

"Modern Society tells us to put our children first" but this book challenges that. The author basically makes the case for putting yourself and your spouse first and that will create a happy and less-anxious family unit.

"It may seem child-friendly to give a child more attention, but if a caregiver makes the child the center of her life, it puts too much pressure on the kid." This is interesting but also difficult to do. It's easy to get caught up in our child's life and not consider our own needs. We can get lost in our child's life.

Then the book gets heavy and the work really starts...

The author identifies Common Ways we distance without realizing it, one being computers and tv... The author believes that many couples realize that their marriage is slowly going bad but they don't know how to change it. He challenges us to connect with our spouse instead of distancing ourselves.

The author believes that a lot of the work that needs to be done is on yourself. "In order to rise about the ugly behaviours of our instincts we have to train ourselves to recognize when we attack or avoid. Instead of becoming experts on how our spouse avoids or criticizes us, we need to become experts about ourselves and our own habits, behaviours and reactions." It's easier to spot your own faults in others than ourselves therefore we have to examine and recognize our faults in order to work on improving our marriage and ultimately reducing the anxiety in the family.

The author writes well and uses examples to explain pretty much everything. I like his concept and I feel that a lot of the personal work he wants the reader to do is good. I did however find that the book dragged on a bit.

I would recommend this book particularly if your life is feeling a little off balance as a parent and your feeling short-fused.

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