August 8, 2010
A while ago I became intrigued by this book after hearing about it one morning on a podcast. I got my hands on it from the library so I thought I would share with you the info through a book review.
Title: Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for a New Generation of Parents
Authors: Marc and Amy Vachon
I was really excited to read this book. I have found that going back to work has been extremely difficult and I am having trouble mastering the balancing act. I was hoping that this book would provide some solutions to the overworked parent.
The book does have some great ideas but most were not realistic for my line of work. Many of the ideas were centered around flexible work schedules. So if you have some potential to do that--this book even addresses how to broach these ideas with management and how a new schedule would work.
The book also talks a lot about how you have to trust your partner and (especially for women) to let go and not worry when the other person is with the kids. I learned I have to make sure not to impose my standards on my hubby. This was a good thing. Something that I don't think that I will be able to do overnight but something I can work on--especially not leaving a list for the husband--just trust that he will know what needs to get done and he can do it his way (YIKES!)
This book is trying to break down many gender stereotypes and talks about the importance of sharing the joys and difficulties of parenting. How sharing the parenting load is a bonus for both parents because in traditional homes one parent feels overwhelmed with the house stuff and kids and the other partner has more work pressure. By evening out the playing field both parents get a taste of the outside world and the homelife. My one concern is that then couldn't both couples end up feeling stressed out in both areas of their lives as they both attempt to juggle and balance?
This book has some good ideas but overall I think it's not achievable for some families. They do stress in the book that each family is different and Equally Shared Parenting looks different for everyone and that some people it means that both parents work full time and out of the house...but I felt like a bad person when I was reading the book for making that choice even though the book claims it's not judging...
I think the book was good but because much of it is not achievable for me right I found it frustrating. I do have ESP going on right now in our home (my husband takes our little on to daycare for instance) and we communicate well on matters pertaining to the little guy. So to the authors that would in itself be an arrangement we have done that falls under ESP. The book didn't provide magic solutions or groundbreaking revelations but it did provide some food for thought and can start the wheels turning. The online tools at their website are quite interesting too.
Would I recommend for you to get it from the library? Sure (although you have probably already thought of most of the options that are outlined in the book)
Would I recommend that you go to the website? absolutely.
Should you buy it? Only if you are in the situation where this might work for you or if you are willing to make drastic life changes.
Labels: Book Reviews